Focus

What is my direction?
I’m pulled so many ways?
Is that bad?
Or does that tension
Make me bigger?
I don’t which is better
For my soul 


I am challenged by “focus”. When focused, other things must be ignored. Such a painful thing, to give up on interests. Yet I see that by diluting my focus, passions get sacrificed. I’ve searched for passion, just not very well. I’m pulled this way and that. Unsure which way is true. I’ve spent so much time eliminating risk that I’ve never truly considered passion, and how that can fit into career. I still have plenty of work to do. 

The Gym Right After New Year’s

I pulled into the parking lot of the Lynnwood Rec Center this evening. The was a dearth of parking. As I usually, deliberately, time my workouts to avoid the open swim times, I was quite surprised to see a full lot. Then it hit me: New Year’s resolutions. And it was tempting to add a sniff of arrogant disdain. “Well, I’ll still be coming here in the spring”. And then there’s the new “loud grunter dude”. It’s quite the spectacle. 

And I felt ashamed as soon as I recognized it. Sure, getting on the machines was challenging. Not too much so, though. Parking did annoy me. But, really, is that worth allowing even the most cursory glance of my mind’s eye? No. All these new people, well, I guess I allowed them to impact my sense of ownership. And there’s that pathetic notion of “I’ve been coming here a long time. Clearly I’m more committed than you”, or some other elitist nonsense.  

So, let me shift my attitude and welcome all you new fitness buffs. I hope you exceed your goals. 

Memories of a forgotten Seattle 

Many memories
Walking past the empty halls
In winter’s darkness

Ages ago I lived in Seattle’s heart. The city was beginning the transformation into the economic behemoth it is now. Still the refuge of the poor, downtrodden. Suburban business professionals drifting through, vanishing as the clock struck five. The flurry of buses and cars away from us. I found myself wandering nighttime streets, streetlights and gentle rain accompanying my steps.