Focus

What is my direction?
I’m pulled so many ways?
Is that bad?
Or does that tension
Make me bigger?
I don’t which is better
For my soul 


I am challenged by “focus”. When focused, other things must be ignored. Such a painful thing, to give up on interests. Yet I see that by diluting my focus, passions get sacrificed. I’ve searched for passion, just not very well. I’m pulled this way and that. Unsure which way is true. I’ve spent so much time eliminating risk that I’ve never truly considered passion, and how that can fit into career. I still have plenty of work to do. 

Some thoughts on 2018: Exploring Photography Deeper

I’ve been exploring what I want to focus on this year. I’m strongly drawn, to bettering my skills in photography.

Now, my father has always been an avid photographer, so it’s always been part of my awareness. Going further, I fell in love with photography back in elementary school. In Junior High, I started taking classes, and became one of the nerds walking the halls with a camera shooting candids for the yearbook.  And I carried on with that all the way through highschool. It was one of my career ambitions as I pondered post-highschool life.

As life progressed, though, I slipped away. I did take my camera with me on a few trips. Looking back, without any plans to publish my work, the effort seemed empty. I went from my binders of photos and the occasional album, to boxes of prints, then complete neglect: rarely shooting anything. I devalued my work. Slowly, through moves and such, my collection simply vanished. Fortunately, I still have all my old gear.

Looking back deeper: I hate that I ever entertained those thoughts, the hateful ramblings of self-doubt and internal cruelty . Now, I wish I had albums with the places I visited. Note to myself: I always regret when I give in to my self-destructive mindset. Don’t do it!

Over the past few years, my family encouraged me to re-engage. It’s been deeply enriching, though I see plenty of room for growth.

So, here I find myself: 2018 and wanting to reboot this part of my life. I’m not too sure of everything I want to try to do regarding photography yet. Clearly, though, the main thing is to take more photos. And I want to upgrade my digital gear. My main camera is an Olympus E-PL1. Non-DSLR, no viewfinder, shooting through an LCD. It’s a nice little camera, but I want to move more into a prosumer DSLR. Thinking Canon so that my son and I can share gear. I’m going to explore some classes, whether college ones or local workshops, well, I don’t know. I think the discipline of a recurring class would be good for keeping my momentum. Perhaps joining up, or starting, a photography group. Definitely will look into hitting up some local photography events.

If you have suggestions, please leave a comment. I really would value direction. 

It’s a world and community I miss. And it’s a great way to get out and explore the community.

Here’s a sampling of what I’ve created over the past year from my Flickr account.

January 2018 Highlights

Still seeking focus and passion? Oh, man!

​Found this post while reviewing my blog: Overactive Mind.Written back in 2011, I still struggle with overflowing data streams, too much email, and finding focus. Well, better to call the last part “retaining focus”.  A challenge over my adult life: focus. So many cool things to learn, study, do.

I struck me seeing how little changed over 6 years. Ok, that’s frustrating, too. Really? The SAME issues? Sigh…..

Looking back over my adult life, well, still the same. Seeking focus, passion sums up my quest. Ultimately, I seek passion. For work that consumes me so deeply, filling me daily with delight, wonder and energy. 

Business, administration and all that received my attention. Mainly, my natural talent simply pulled me along. I never felt the passion which I sought. That nagged me. 

I see now my passion lies in place and family. My connection to community drives me. I love people: stories, struggles and the simple beauties which define our humanity. 

This region, this Puget Sound area, and western Washington, hold my heart, my history. Generations of my ancestors walked here, loved here, died here. THIS resonates with me. 

Writing also generates passion within me. I started journaling as a young man, with my writings going back to the 1980s (my mind fails to embrace how long ago the 80s were). Even though I devalued my work and ambitions (so much hubris: a writer?), still I wrote. Helping me find peace in terrible times of my life, see so many things clearly, and hold hope, writing kept my sanity and gave me meaning. 

Well, clearly I defined my life’s passion. Here in this blog lies the manifestation of the intersection of my passions. Now, though: focusing upon them. The terrifying risk of failure focusing on my loves. Facing down the negative self-talk surrounding all this. So much left to accomplish in this journey. What a feeling of excitement and terror. Fortunately, you are along, too. That gives me peace. 

Passion, Connection, Transportation

I’m often giving a lift to one of the teens at my taekwondo studio, and I’m often pinged for last minute rides, sometimes involving a fair amount of driving. A few friends question why I make myself that accessible for such. “Am I just being a sucker”? The short answer: “no”.

I deeply value helping people connect with their passions. The thought of someone not participating in a passion simply because of transportation issues bothers me greatly. Sometimes the easiest way to assist with that connection is simply facilitating presence. If my gift of a few minutes of driving helps connect passions, then it’s a glorious investment in the communities that I love.